There really ain't anything giving a right perspective of humility. Funnily or sadly, you have every other proud soul thinking of himself to be humble. Get this plain as a pikestaff, anyone who comes to the forefront to display his achievements or deeds is nothing less than a proud soul. But the good news is that even in this self seeking world, you can find those few who prefer to remain unnoticed for their good works. They are typically whom you can confidently label as 'meek and humble'.

Humility vs. Pride - a subject that's very relevant to be taken up for discussion particularly in a society like ours that's composed of people who have it in them to feel proud about their very existence. Many a time, I find it difficult to digest when popular figures are lauded for works of charity and when they give responses like ' I'll do anything for the poor,' the onlookers who observe this attribute are quick to consider the person humble, only next to Jesus Christ! And there's these another peculiar category who does some seemingly good deed and go about publicising - 'Don't tell anyone.' These are perfect illustrations of pride in various forms often wrongly termed as 'humility'. And this one I should mention - A snap of a rich popular figure (I''l land myself in trouble if I mention the name) sitting in the midst of a common mass is being captured to demonstrate an act of humility. The fact that he perceives a difference between himself and the rest of the crowd is sufficent to know that he has an air of pride.

Well, what then it is to be truly humble?

Here's an instance to substantiate on that: Almost everyone would have faced circumstances where they would have been mocked at or criticised, reasons could be many and any, some not at all reasonable. And the common reaction is of one defending oneself - a course of action guided by natural instincts. When somebody mocks at you and you don't utter a word to defend yourself, then you have mastered the virtue of humility. You might argue, raising the issue of 'self esteem.' No, by doing so, you are not undermining your self worth, you are just reminding yourself that you are not so great afterall.

Another case in point is about our reaction to receiving accolades. Assume that you are  a recipient of some great award. If you are humble. you'll simply be happy and remain calm amd composed recognising that those inherent abilities that helped you achieve have been put in you by your creator. All what you have is not really yours, you owe them to the one above.

I am not trying to urge you to shed that vice of pride and go on to instill the virtue of humility in you. Just to remind you that it is not only erroneous but also unforgivable when you call a proud soul 'humble.'

Baseless misunderstandings can ruin relationships between men and women (especially between spouses) unless the cause for the trouble is rightly identified. In a great number of cases, the problem has its roots in the conversational styles employed by men and women rather than personal failings which are commonly ascribed to the falling relationships. To men, communicating is all about gaining the upper hand, preventing them from being underestimated and negotiating their status in a group. Women, on the other hand, view communication as a way to establish support and intimacy. The two opposing yet valid frequencies bring about the conflict.

In Deborah Tannen's book, 'You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation', she points out that men and women follow different patterns in communication while socializing and are largely determined by the mental make-up of the two sexes.

I have elaborated on just three instances that happen in our every day life which i believe would help banish the blame and pave way for a healthy and enduring relationship.

Women seek comfort, men more keen on offering solutions

The other day, i tried confiding in my partner giving him an account of some annoying episodes that filled my day. I anticipated him to be a bridge over troubled waters, instead he offered solutions that included me mending my ways to handle the situation better. Presenting complaints is perceived by men as a 'challenge requiring solutions' as opposed to women who seek emotional support.

Men need independence, women look for joint decision – making

This apparently is happening in all relationships. Quite often, the husband calls up his wife informing her that he is on his way home with friends for dinner. Women find it difficult to appreciate this information given at a short notice and cribs for not having been told / consulted earlier. For men, checking with his wife is a manifestation of his complete dependence and his inability to act on his own. Given a similar situation, the wife would take pride in saying that she has to consult her husband as a symbol of love and respect and demonstrate how her own life is intertwined with her husband's.

Requests taken as orders

Many a time, women are put to wonder why men get so affected by statements like ' Let's have dinner now' or 'let's go out'. Some men fail to understand that these are merely suggestions and not orders. Though uttered with an intention to seek permission, it backfires and men tend to feel they are manipulated to get things done indirectly.

Both men and women need to understand the inherent differences in their respective communication styles failing which can prove tough for both. While women can be more wary in trying not to except a girl-like response from men, men too should attempt to understand that the poor woman is trying to relate and is not merely jabbering.

How many times you felt like you wanted to disappear from the scene when people took shots at you reducing you to less than nothing? How many times you felt humiliated when met with cutting words? Handling sarcasm is not easy cause you feel a strong urge to react in kind but you are unable to use those verbal jabs to match his/her wit. Afterall sarcasm is a lowest form of wit. On occasions, the put-downs are so subtle that though they don't seem to mean anything serious, they are uttered in tones that spite you.

So Beware of Malicious tongues! If you're going to show yourself as deeply affected by sharp words, you're simply asking for more of it. Retaliating either, won't help much as you would be accused of being sensitive and having no taste for humour. A more wise alternative would be to seek explanation for the hidden message conveyed, this however has to be done patiently and politely.

And if you are equally sarcastic as the perpetrator, show him how wit could be used more constructively. To cite an instance, -' I don't know how you could have such nice pals. An appropriate response would be 'yeah, that's why you are my friend.'

But like everything, sarcasm is not always bad. It is required for having fun. You need to make out statements that are acerbic and statements that are not. To nasty ones, you can choose to ignore them and keep your wig on. Yes, that's one thing you can do. That way you are giving no importance to their skillful way of playing with words or their so called cleverness.

There is hardly any one who can maintain that he or she has a stress free life. At some point or the other, people face stressful situations. Neverthless, to some extent, I believe stress is a necessity and not merely desirable especially in workplaces to facilitate good performance. Referring to such situations as drive or motivation, people fail to realise that it is also a form of stress having positive implications and is defined as the eustress. However, when stress reaches extreme levels, for instance, when there is too much pressure on the individual at workplace or elsewhere, the end result would be a distress .

While we know fully well that stress has to be overcome, what really matters is the strategy we employ to combat stress or that excess strain on our physical and mental energy.

Here is a guide to provide you relief from that monotony and drudgery of everyday life:

1) When faced with a stressful situation, try to think of a joyful event that will happen eventually. It could be something like your best friend's wedding, the following month etc. Start planning your shopping list. You will find yourself engaged in a more interesting occupation.

2) As you know even boredom leads to stress.Introduce creativity in your work and consider out of the box thinking. Choose a different course or pattern for accomplishing your routine tasks.

3) When things go out of control, resort to the flight mechanism, say for example, go on a holiday to your favourite place along with your loved one.

4) While there is so much to listening to music and is often citied as a good stress buster, I would also suggest you sing out loudly and dance to some good tunes.Though you get exhausted, you can't be more happy, I bet.

5) This one has helped me much - just note down all your emotions in a diary, it needn't necessarily make sense and there you are providing an outlet for your surpressed emotions.

6) Pick up a couple of friends with you and go to your favourite joint to indulge your appetite.

7) For those who have a craze for shopping, set out on a shopping spree, there's nothing like it.

8) Collect your clothes that you don't use owing to their misfit and give them (and some money) to a charitable home. You will experience the joy of giving and know there's more to giving than receiving.

9) Pursue any or all activities that are of interest to you.

10) Try out some puzzles to have your mind occupied. At a time, I had really became a sudoku addict.

I have found these tips very useful and I recommend them to you to be supplemented with other well known techniques prescribed by renowned psychologists. So what's stopping you from enjoying everyday life ?!??

While they are ok on some occasions, in others they are not. Theologically speaking, thou shall not lie. Neverthless, white lies are most desirable in protecting people's sentiments and safeguarding relationships. A friend asks you if you like her dress, a real expensive one, you definetely won't like to hurt her, even if you don't like it and proceed to say it is good.

Sometimes when i criticise my sister saying she is a real pain , i instantly add this ' i was just joking' - therefore you see a white lie is needed to prevent the issue from flaring up. As long as you want to remain sensitive to other's feelings, white lies are alright. Given these situations, white lies are most warranted, on the otherhand the plain truth could prove destructive.
Replacing white lies with tact is also a wise course. To cite an example: 'You look good in your new hair cut' is a lie. 'The haircut doesn't suit you' is the aching truth and 'You look different in your new hair cut'  employs tact. Being diplomatic is ideal in such cases.

Sometimes people have a tendency to exaggerate mistaking them to be white lies. Take this case: a friend of mine purchases a flat and i don't like the locality nor does the house look impressive to me and If I were to remark that the house looks extremely beautiful and is situated in the most ideal locality, that would tantamount to an exaggeration, a lie as there is so much deception in the statement. A more discreet comment like ' the house is fine'  is recommended.

Dr. Ludwig, a psychotherapist, holds that white lies are ok for 'passing plesantries' , like talking of Santa's presents to kids etc. - are intended to create a fun filled environment. But take caution,  too many white lies too are not ok as you run the risk of losing your reputation and the trust imposed in you by people

Recently I read about this New Zealand youth who sold out his soul to a pizza chain - Hell pizza. The deal was clinched at an online auction for an attractive bid of $3,800. He claims that his soul was of no use to him as he couldn't see it or feel it and so he set out to auction it.
Rachel Allison who heads the Marketing division of Hell Pizza, the highest bidder is on her way to pick up his soul, if not atleast his deed of ownership. She delightfully remarks, "The souls belongs to hell, there's simpply no better place for it".

If any of you can make sense out of this, please let me know.

Another case: 

Ted Turner's recent belief is that all humans will become cannibals in another 30-40 years. 
 Yet in another article, I noted that he is partnering with some lutherans and methodists to fund an anti malarial project in Africa. Could it be that he is making up for the loss of reputation?

These people are nothing but zany. At the outset, you get alarmed at those statements but when you sit and think deeply, this little prayer will come to your mind - Father forgive them, for they know not what they are doing.

Few films portray the hardships people face in their day to day life. One feel good movie that you just can't afford to miss is 'The Pursuit of happyness' that depicts all the struggles a single father has to enconter to make ends meet. You will surely bless the day you see it. Since I watched the movie, I have been counting my blessings and felt a sense of gratitude.

The story begins with Chris Gardener taking utmost efforts to maintain his wife and son, a smart and witty child of 5. He starts his career as a salesman, trying hard to sell medical scanners which are more or less an X-ray machine except that it is slightly denser. Soon, he realises they are nothing but junk deemed  unnecessary luxuries by doctors. His wife pulls in double shifts to pay off their rent and other expenses. Finally, she parts with her family which decision she makes out of sheer frustration. Thus the story goes with captivating dialogue between the father and son.

Inspired by the true story of Chris Gardener (Will Smith), the facts of the situation have been altered here and there to make it a more painfully touching experience. For instance, seeing that he is getting nowhere, he registers himself at the Dean Witters for an internship programme. On the screen, it is depicted that  the program offers no pay, not even a reasonable promise of a job, In reality, Chris did receive a stipend. And his boy was not 5 but an infant at the time when the family was financially ravaged. Anyway, these are mere details adding special effects to the movie.

My review wouldn't be complete if I make no mention of Will Smith's charm in the movie. The way he relates to his son, gains his confidence even in the most trying of situations is just incredible. You can also draw inspiration from Chris's fierce determination and unwillingness to accept that his condition is pitiable.

At the end of the movie, you'll be happier than ever acknowledging the fact that you atleast have a roof over your head and a decent job. There’s a smartness and a subtlety to Smith’s performance - to the film as a whole, so much so the more you think of it the more satisfying it feels. Credit needs to be given to the screenwriter and director who have given their best in bringing out the sentiments consummately. Don't miss it !